The Tale of Melon City
by Vikram Seth
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'The Tale of Melon City' is a humorous narrative poem that satirises unthinking governance and blind adherence to rules. A 'just and placid' king orders an arch to be built across the main road to edify spectators. Riding through, he strikes his head on the too-low arch and his crown falls off. Furious, he orders the chief builder to be hanged. The builder blames the workmen, the workmen blame the masons, the masons blame the architect, and the architect points out that the king himself had altered the plans. When the wise man consulted declares that the arch, being the real culprit, should be hanged, an absurd chain of buck-passing follows until it is decided that someone must be hanged to satisfy the crowd. The noose, however, fits only the king's own neck, and so the king is hanged. The ministers, needing a new ruler, proclaim that the next person to pass through the city gate shall choose the king. An idiot passes by and, asked what should rule, answers 'a melon', his stock reply. So a melon is crowned king. The citizens, content to be left in peace, happily accept melon rule.
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The poem is a political satire told as a mock fairy-tale. Through absurd events it ridicules weak, whimsical rulers, the blind passing of blame, the misuse of the idea of 'justice', and a public that cares only for its own peace and prosperity, not for who or what governs it.
The arch and the king's fury
A 'just and placid' king orders an arch built over the main road to improve the spectators who pass beneath it. When he rides through in state, the arch is so low that it knocks off his crown. The humiliated king, insisting on justice, immediately orders the chief of builders to be hanged.
The chain of blame
The condemned builder blames the workmen; the workmen blame the masons; the masons blame the architect. The architect reminds the king that the king himself had made certain changes to the plans. This flusters the king, who consults the wisest man in the country to decide who is truly guilty.
Absurd 'justice'
The old wise man declares that the arch which struck the crown should be hanged. As the arch is led to be hanged, a councillor objects that it had touched the king's head and so must be honoured, not punished. The crowd grows restless and demands that somebody be hanged, for a scaffold has been prepared and the people expect a spectacle.
The king is hanged; a melon is crowned
It is decided that the noose must fit whoever is to die. Every neck is measured; only the king's own neck fits the noose, so the king is hanged, satisfying the mob's cry for justice. The ministers then declare that the next man to pass the city gate shall decide the new ruler. A passing idiot, asked what should rule, gives his usual senseless answer, 'a melon'. A melon is duly crowned and enthroned as king, and the people, left in peace and liberty, are perfectly content with melon rule.