The Luncheon
by William Somerset Maugham
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A light, ironic reminiscence. Twenty years earlier, when the narrator was a struggling young writer in Paris living on eighty francs a month, a female admirer of his book invited herself to luncheon at Foyot's, an expensive restaurant far beyond his means. Repeatedly declaring 'I never eat more than one thing for luncheon' and warning him against eating too much, she nonetheless orders the costliest items one after another, salmon, caviare, champagne, giant asparagus, a peach and an ice-cream, while the narrator, panic-stricken about the bill, eats only a cheap mutton chop and drinks water. In the end he is left with barely enough to leave a tiny tip and not a penny for the rest of the month. Years later he has his 'revenge': the woman who impoverished him now weighs twenty-one stone. The story is a delightful comedy of pretension, hypocrisy and the narrator's helpless embarrassment.
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Maugham's story is a comic, first-person reminiscence built on irony and self-mockery. It exposes the gulf between what the greedy guest says and what she does, while the narrator squirms in silent financial panic.
The flattering invitation
Twenty years earlier the narrator, a poor young writer in Paris living on eighty francs a month, received admiring letters from a woman who had read his book. Flattered and too young to refuse a woman, he agreed to give her 'a little luncheon' at Foyot's, an expensive restaurant frequented by French senators and far beyond his means.
'I never eat more than one thing'
The woman, forty and imposing, repeatedly insists she 'never eats more than one thing for luncheon', yet proceeds to order salmon, caviare, champagne (on her doctor's orders) and giant asparagus, each item costlier than the last. She also lectures the narrator against eating heavy food, while he, appalled at the mounting bill, limits himself to the cheapest mutton chop and a glass of water.
Mounting panic
As the giant asparagus and then a peach and an ice-cream and coffee appear, the narrator's 'heart sank' and 'panic seized' him. His worry shifts from how much he will have left for the month to whether he can pay the bill at all. He even rehearses dramatic ways to escape, dreading the humiliation of being unable to pay.
The revenge of time
The bill leaves him with just enough for an inadequate tip and not a penny for the rest of the month; the woman, noticing the small tip, thinks him mean and airily advises him to eat only one thing for luncheon. Years later the narrator has his quiet revenge: the woman who impoverished him now weighs twenty-one stone.