My Mother at Sixty-six
by Kamala Das
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In this single-sentence poem, the poet drives from her parents' home to the Cochin airport and looks at her sixty-six-year-old mother dozing beside her, her face 'ashen like that of a corpse'. The sight fills her with the old, familiar 'ache', the childhood fear of losing her mother. To put away the painful thought, she looks outside at the young trees 'sprinting' and the merry children 'spilling out of their homes', images of youth and life that contrast with her mother's ageing. At the airport, after the security check, she sees her mother's pale, wan face again, 'like a late winter's moon', and the fear returns. Yet she hides her anguish, and with a smile that conceals her pain she says only, 'see you soon, Amma', repeating 'and all I did was smile and smile and smile.' The poem poignantly captures the pain of ageing, the fear of separation and a daughter's love.
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The poem explores the poet's realisation of her mother's ageing and approaching death, her fear of losing her, and the love and anguish she conceals behind a reassuring smile.
The drive and the painful realisation
As the poet drives from her parents' home to Cochin airport, she notices her mother dozing beside her, mouth open, her face pale 'ashen like that of a corpse'. This realisation of her mother's old age and mortality brings a familiar 'ache', the childhood fear of separation and loss.
Turning to images of life
To escape the painful thought, the poet looks out of the window at the 'young trees sprinting' and 'the merry children spilling out of their homes'. These vibrant images of youth, energy and life are deliberately contrasted with her mother's ageing and decline.
The parting at the airport
At the airport, after the security check, the poet looks again at her mother, whose pale, wan face is compared to 'a late winter's moon', dull, colourless and fading. The old fear returns, but she hides her anguish and, with only a smile, bids her mother 'see you soon, Amma', repeating 'and all I did was smile and smile and smile', the smile masking her deep pain and love.