My Elder Brother
by Leo Tolstoy
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This story, from Tolstoy's autobiographical novel 'Boyhood', explores the relationship between two brothers and shows the importance of forgiveness. The narrator, Nicky, is only a little younger than his elder brother Valodya; they grow up, study and play together. But Nicky begins to feel inferior, he believes Valodya is better than him in everything, and that his brother is proud of his superiority. This feeling, born of Nicky's own vanity, causes him moral anguish. He envies Valodya's happy large-heartedness, which shows itself most when they quarrel. One day, playing near Valodya's table, Nicky accidentally breaks an empty scent bottle and, though he does not really feel like it, pretends to smile and be casual. A quarrel breaks out; they push each other and Nicky, beside himself with anger, tips over the whole table, smashing all Valodya's china and glass ornaments. Nicky leaves the room thinking they have quarrelled 'for good'. Later, feeling ashamed and uncomfortable, he cannot face his brother. But it is Valodya who, in a most natural voice and without a scrap of pathos, holds out his hand and says, 'Don't be cross any more. Forgive me if I offended you.' Moved to tears, Nicky squeezes his hand, while Valodya cannot even understand why there are tears in his eyes.
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A feeling of inferiority
Nicky, the narrator, is only a year or so younger than his elder brother Valodya, and at first no distinction is made between them. But Nicky begins to feel that he is no companion for his brother in age, interests or ability. He believes Valodya is better than him in everything, at lessons, in arguments and in manners, and even that Valodya is aware of his superiority and proud of it. This idea, born of Nicky's own vanity, causes him moral anguish.
Valodya's changing hobbies and large heart
Valodya is impulsive; his enthusiasm for hobbies, painting, collecting curios, reading novels on the sly, never lasts long. Nicky is impressed but too proud to imitate him. Above all Nicky envies Valodya's 'happy large-heartedness', which shows itself most strikingly when they quarrel: Nicky always feels that Valodya behaves well, but he himself cannot do likewise.
The broken scent bottle and the quarrel
One day, when Valodya's passion for ornaments is at its height, Nicky accidentally breaks an empty scent bottle on his table. Though he does not feel like it, he pretends to smile and be casual, which annoys Valodya. A quarrel breaks out; Valodya tries to drag Nicky from the table, and Nicky, beside himself with anger, grabs the leg of the table and tips it over, sending all the china and glass ornaments crashing to the floor. He leaves the room thinking, 'now it is all over between us, we have quarrelled for good.'
The gift of forgiveness
Afterwards Nicky feels scared, uncomfortable and ashamed, and cannot bear to be alone with his brother. He scowls and puts on an angry expression, but their eyes meet and he senses that Valodya understands him. Then Valodya, in a most natural voice and without a scrap of pathos, holds out his hand and says, 'Nicky, don't be cross any more. Forgive me if I offended you.' Something rises in Nicky's chest; tears come to his eyes and he feels better. 'Forgive m-me, Val-dya,' he stammers, squeezing his brother's hand, while Valodya cannot understand why there should be tears in his eyes. The story shows the healing power of forgiveness and the value of a large-hearted, generous nature.