Stealing and Atonement
by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi
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In these extracts from his autobiography 'My Experiments with Truth', Gandhiji honestly recalls how, as a boy, he learned the value of truth through his own mistakes. Copying an uncle who smoked, he and a relative began smoking cigarette stubs, then stole coins from a servant's pocket money to buy Indian cigarettes. Frustrated by their lack of independence, they even planned to commit suicide with dhatura seeds, but their courage failed and they gave up both the idea of suicide and the habit of smoking. A more serious wrong followed: at about fifteen, Gandhiji clipped a bit of gold from his elder brother's armlet to clear his brother's debt of about twenty-five rupees. Weighed down by guilt, he resolved never to steal again and decided to confess to his father in writing. In the note he admitted his guilt, asked for due punishment, requested his father not to punish himself, and pledged never to steal again. He trembled as he handed the note to his sick father. His father read it, and tears trickled down his cheeks, wetting the paper; he tore up the note and lay down. Gandhiji cried too. Those tears of love, pure Ahimsa, cleansed his heart and washed his sin away. A clean confession, joined with a promise never to repeat the sin, is the purest form of repentance.
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Learning to smoke and steal
As a boy Gandhiji and a relative, imitating an uncle who smoked, began collecting and smoking cigarette stubs. Having no money, they stole coins from a servant's pocket money to buy Indian cigarettes, and even smoked the porous stalks of a certain plant. Their want of independence, being unable to do anything without their elders' permission, upset them so much that, in sheer disgust, they decided to commit suicide.
The failed suicide
They went to the jungle for dhatura seeds, believed to be an effective poison, and went to a temple in the evening. But their courage failed, they feared they might not die instantly, and wondered what good killing themselves would do. They swallowed only two or three seeds and dared not take more. This experience made them give up both the thought of suicide and the habit of smoking stubs and stealing coins. Ever since, Gandhiji regarded smoking as barbarous, dirty and harmful.
The theft of gold
A more serious wrong came when Gandhiji was about fifteen. To help clear his elder brother's debt of about twenty-five rupees, he clipped a bit of gold from his brother's solid gold armlet. Though the debt was cleared, the guilt became more than he could bear. He resolved never to steal again and decided to confess to his father, not from fear of being beaten, but because he could not bear the thought of the pain he would cause his father. He felt there could be no cleansing without a confession.
The confession and Ahimsa
Gandhiji wrote out his confession, admitting his guilt, asking for adequate punishment, requesting his father not to punish himself for the offence, and pledging never to steal again. Trembling, he handed the note to his father, who was confined to bed. His father read it through, and tears trickled down his cheeks and wetted the paper; then he tore up the note and lay down. Gandhiji cried too. Those tears of love, he later understood, were pure Ahimsa, which changes everything it touches. A clean confession combined with a promise never to repeat the sin is the purest type of repentance, and it made his father feel absolutely safe about him and increased his affection beyond measure.