This is Going to Hurt Just a Little Bit
by Ogden Nash
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In this humorous poem, Ogden Nash gives an exaggerated, comic account of the misery of sitting in a dentist's chair. He declares that of all things he likes least, sitting with his mouth wide open in a dentist's chair is the worst, and hopes 'against hope' never to do it again. Some tortures are physical and some mental, but the one that is both is dental. It is hard to stay self-possessed with your jaw digging into your chest, and hard to keep your dignity in one of life's most undignified positions. He compares his mouth to 'a section of road that is being worked on', cluttered with stone crushers, concrete mixers, drills and steam rollers, with every nerve in his head being 'irked on'. He fears his teeth are being demolished rather than polished, and dreads that the whole thing is 'done with a mirror', the dentist might confuse left and right like a man tying a bow tie in a mirror. When at last it is over, the dentist coats his mouth with something 'used to put a shine on a horse's hoof' and cheerfully tells him to 'come back in three monce'. The poem ends on the 'vicious circle' that man must keep visiting the dentist to keep his teeth good, chiefly so that he won't have to visit the dentist.
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'This is Going to Hurt Just a Little Bit' by Ogden Nash is a humorous poem that gives an exaggerated, comic description of the painful, undignified experience of visiting the dentist. Its wit comes from wild exaggeration, playful similes and deliberately odd spellings.
The dread of the dentist's chair
The poet says that one thing he likes 'less than most things' is sitting in a dentist's chair with his mouth wide open, and he hopes 'against hope' never to do it again. 'Some tortures are physical and some are mental, / But the one that is both is dental.' It is hard to be self-possessed with one's jaw digging into one's chest, and hard to keep one's dignity in one of the most undignified positions in life.
The mouth as a road under repair
He compares his mouth to 'a section of road that is being worked on', cluttered up with stone crushers, concrete mixers, drills and steam rollers, so that not a nerve in his head is left un-irked. His teeth are supposed to be polished, but he suspects they are being 'demolished'. Worst of all, it is 'all done with a mirror', and he fears the dentist may confuse left and right, just as one does trying to tie a bow tie before a mirror.
The vicious circle
When at last the dentist says 'That will be all', it isn't: he coats the poet's mouth with something 'generally used to put a shine on a horse's hoof', and, as the poet totters to his feet thinking it is finally over, tells him cheerfully to 'come back in three monce'.
The poem ends on the great irony, 'the most vicious circle', that man must keep going to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition, when the chief reason he wants good teeth is precisely so that he won't have to go to the dentist.